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The Pee and Poop Songs

Baby Cricket

Baby Cricket

 

 

I think it all started as lullabies when Cricket first came home in the car. She was two pounds of fluff on my lap in the back seat and I sang to her to help her calm down during the long drive from New Jersey to Long Island. I don’t remember what I sang, probably whatever was stuck in my head from the radio, or some Hebrew songs from school, and a lullaby or two. I was reduced to Twinkle Twinkle Little Star and Row Row Row Your Boat by the end.

But it worked. It helped Cricket relax onto my lap. And I tried it again whenever she seemed to get overwhelmed, in the crate, by noises in the house, or when she woke up at three AM to pee, or when she was trying to master the stairs.

So it was natural for me to sing to her when she was learning to pee outside. I would clap for her when she peed and I’d repeat the word “pee” so she’d pair the word with the action. And then I’d repeat myself, and add a melody to the whole thing. I never knew why certain songs jumped into my head and became pee and poop songs, though.

When I went to sleep-away camp as a kid they used to take popular songs and jingles and change the words. So I automatically started rewriting songs I knew, to fit Cricket’s needs.

There was a resurgence of pee and poop songs when Butterfly came home in November and needed encouragement to learn to pee outside instead of in the kitchen.

"What do I do now?"

“What do I do now?”

One of my favorites is the “I’m a Little Teapot” song, which transformed itself into: “I’m a little puppy, short and stout. Tip me over and poop comes out.”

“We’ve got the beat,” became, “We’ve got the poop.”

“Baby it’s cold outside,” is a perennial favorite of mine, because it is a duet and I can imagine Cricket singing her part the way she cries and cuddles against me.

“I really must pee.” That’s her line.

“But baby it’s cold outside.” That’s mine.

“I’ve got to go pee!” More insistent this time.

“But baby it’s cold outside.” Me, still deluding myself that I have a choice.

We have this conversation daily and it’s nice to be able to put it to music, given that Cricket will inevitably win the argument and I will have to go outside and freeze my face off. I don’t even remember the original words anymore because the pee lyrics have become so prominent in my mind. I just see Cricket’s puppy dog eyes filled to the brim with unshed pee and the song pops into my head.

"Pee" sometimes just means "outside"

“Pee” sometimes just means “outside”

I’ve started dancing to the pee songs lately, to encourage Butterfly, especially after ten o’clock at night when the wind is howling and I need her to hurry up  so I can go back inside and not worry that she’s going to wake me up at four AM with desperate whimpers. I started out by walking in circles on the lawn, to mimic her pre-pee activities, but she’d get distracted by a noise down the block or by Cricket chewing her stick and she’d forget to pee or stop pooping in the middle. And then I started dancing, partly because it was so freakin’ cold out, but then I noticed that dancing got Butterfly’s attention better than just singing by itself.

The girls inspire each other

The girls inspire each other

The fact is, the songs work. At the very least, they make me feel like I can help my dogs live happier, healthier lives. And it’s fun for me. What more could I ask for?

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About rachelmankowitz

I am a fiction writer, a writing coach, and an obsessive chronicler of my dogs' lives.

89 responses »

  1. Thanks for a sweet post to have read my first cup of coffee. There is no end to the love and the things we will do for our dogs. And know, those pee and poop songs will stay with you FOREVER! For 19 years I have been singing (to myself, my family would think me nuts!) the potty song we played when my son was beginning potty training. Something about those songs!!! 🙂

    Reply
    • When my oldest nephew was born I used to sing for him, not for poopy encouragement, just to communicate. And he would reach out and touch my lips and then shape his mouth in an oval to try and catch the sounds. I will always remember that.

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  2. Love it! I trained my two dogs and now hopefully our new recruit to ‘toilet’ which now just means to charge outside and do whatever but at least they are outside. I also sing to them all, but mostly to Minnie as the tune Winnie the Poo fits Minnie the Moo. As in ‘Minnie the Moo, Minnie the Moo, cuddly little, chubby little stuffed with fluff!’. And as for dancing, at the moment the only way I can our new little pup to come back is to dance. It’s all good!

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    • Now I’m hearing Minnie the Moocher and Mack the Knife in my head. At least that’s better than the plop plop fizz fizz Alka Seltzer song playing over and over. Suprisingly easy to dance to, actually.

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  3. So funny. Now there’s a whole lot of songs I’ll always be putting your words to – oh dear!

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  4. Perfect post. I am smiling and singing. Maybe we went to the same camp.

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  5. You are BRILLIANT – now why didn’t I think of singing all these years I’ve been encouraging my pups to pee and poop outdoors!! I thoroughly enjoyed this one…:)

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  6. lol now i know where i’m going wrong 🙂 will have to start singing to my 3 ‘girls’ xx

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  7. I continue sleeping when They take Kaci out at some ungodly hour of the morning. You won’t hear Him singing cute little songs, only blue language. Kaci goes quickly and is in for her potty treat. It doesn’t get that cold in Arizona. I use the doggy door but Kaci hasn’t mastered that yet.

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    • We keep hoping that Butterfly will figure out how to use the wee wee pad in the bathroom, but it’s still a mystery. So out we go before I’m awake and when I wish I were already asleep. And even with that, she growls at me and paces the bed trying to get me to take her out before the sun comes up.

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  8. In case you need an expanded repertoire, the old song “Ragg Mopp” is easily transformed into “Dogg Poopp”, and “Shipoopie” from “the Music Man” is a ready-made natural as well.

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    • Ha! I remember Salt N’ Pepa’s Shoop Shoop song, and Kristi Yamaguchi once skated to something called the Doop Doop song, I think. My brain shuffles through these things without my knowledge and the songs just pop out randomly.

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  9. I talk to my dogs all the time…they are my constant companions. This 2′ of snow we got was tough on us, but we managed 🙂

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  10. I baby talk to my doggie. She seems to like it. I thought my dog was the only one using “pee” as a pretense to go outside. Summer time, I’m okay with the trickery. But now in winter? Lol.

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    • The girls just dragged me outside to slip slide in the snow. They seemed so desperate! Alas, no pee. I feel such vicarious relief when they finally pee and this means that they are going to start begging to go out again much sooner than I’d like.

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  11. LOL…adorable songs for adorable dogs

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  12. So lovely to hear someone else talk of their pee songs! Ours aren’t nearly so adventurous these days as the hounds know exactly what we mean after all these years. A simple ‘Pees and poos’ sung at a high pitch (cos it’s damned cold) works like magic 😀

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    • My high pitched song is usually something like “Please! Please pee already!” And Cricket thinks I’m having some kind of breakdown, and therefore ignores me and goes back to chewing a stick.

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  13. Run A Muck Ranch

    I think we will need a video, with full audio to fully get the gist…. 🙂

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    • Oh no. My stagefright has gotten worse over time. And Butterfly would probably get performance anxiety and forget to pee. Cricket on the other hand, is a Diva.

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      • Run A Muck Ranch

        Chuckle… I once mentioned the “It’s Mr. Willy Time” song I sing to my problem child. There are those that said they wanted to actually hear it. My response was that they were lucky I DIDN’T record it! 🙂 Still, Sweet William likes it, so I still sing it to him, just not around people who have easily offended ears. I am not one who can carry a tune.

  14. Do you know a Pee and Poop version of Stairway to Heaven?

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    • I’ll have to work on that. I’m not sure if it works a capella, though. We’d need to bring along the pee and poop band.

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      • Yes, there are two paths you can poop on, but in the long run
        There’s still time to pee on the road you’re on.
        And it makes me wonder …
        (Well, it’s an honest try anyway)

  15. That is so funny, I loved it! but as a student of dog psychology ( six Wieners…Breeding, and training pups and raising All.Of.Them. .think about it) I have to say, any dog not under 6 months or over 12 years can go 8 to 12 hours without peeing. My husband likes to throw them out every 10 minutes too, so we’re up all night and they are just SO entertained by all our too ing and fro ing. This is all addressed in my post ” Housebreaking, Oh God!”.

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  16. Loved your post! Many things in my home are learned via silly songs: my kids learned the multiplication tables that way, and yes, I have sung my way through many a late night pee walk with Gabi.

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    • One summer, my brother dared me to memorize Paul Revere’s Ride, to prove that his memory was better than mine, and therefore, he was better in all ways. I had to put the poem to music and sing it over and over in the back seat of the car all the way upstate, but I memorized it. He was not pleased.

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  17. Wow that really made me giggle! Are all of us pet people nuts!!??!! I had a little ‘tune’ I would sing to my cat Morticha – I would hold her on her back and sing the song – she would touch my face with her paws…almost like a blind person using touch recognition…anyway, it took off and a few friends even sang the tune to her. One friend in particular would call and leave sing it onto my answering machine! Actually maybe my friends are a little nuts LOL

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  18. I really like your blog! And thank goodness, I thought I was the only one who sang to their dog and inserted their names in to popular songs…thanks for visiting my blog!

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  19. Great idea! I love your “teapot” song ha ha ha 😀

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  20. Dear Rachel,

    I have nominated you (and Cricket by proxy) for a Liebster Blog Award! Check it out at http://wileyschmidt.wordpress.com/. 🙂

    -Wiley

    Reply
  21. Love this one!!!! Oh, yes, we have our special songs too…One of ours is called: Hop, Skip and a Jump. Trev used to do this thing when he was chasing his ball down the hallway…he would hop up, do a little skip and jump ever so slightly in the air from pure happiness…it always seemed like he was kicking up his heels ( I mean his paws )…

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    • Butterfly loves the hoppy skippy moves. She’s started to do this little jump with a twist at the end, and she twists her tongue to the side at the same time. There really should be music playing in the background.

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  22. Thanks for the brilliant potty ideas!

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  23. Great post: btw, I still sing Mom’s songs in Polish to my gals-Shingleman gets jealous, because he doesn’t know any language…lol

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  24. Thank you! ) Your doggie is so cute )

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  25. Chancy and Mumsy

    Oh, my how we love this post. How sweet and cute it is that you sing to your dogs. Music brings happiness and feel good feelings even when it is poop and pee time…love it!!! Hugs and nose kisses

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  26. LOL. Hilarious! Maybe I should try that with Max.

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  27. Deliciously fun! And a great idea!! Ha ha! I will have to try it with my charming Diesel who is blind and has diabetes so he is often into the art of creative pee-ing. He will pee while walking…he will create designs…but he is a mighty man no less…yes, serenading him would be a super idea…. And thanks again for liking my blog!

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  28. Love it.. I sing to mine much of the day too.. be it feeding time with there homemade dog food, or just going outside.. too funny.. it calms them down when they are scared and relaxes them when not feeling well.. amazing how music or song can bypass so many barriers.. it is the same way with people.. My voice message is a song and it brings out the best or worst in people.. they tend to sing there message back to me.. or laugh so hard they call back the next day to try again.. thank you for sharing this.. so Cute!! 🙂

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    • I’m not up to singing on voice mail, I’d be afraid the laughing should be taken personally. When the dogs give me funny looks, I can just assume they prefer doggy sopranos to human ones.

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  29. And here I thought I was the only person who made up crazy songs to sing to my fur~kids! That’s awesome 🙂

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  30. Funny! When I used to sing to my animals, the dogs would raise their heads and look at me like I was nuts. The cats would come running to see what was wrong with me. So, I gave it up! HA!

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  31. Love the songs! Wish I had thought of that when our pups were younger and we were outside pottying at 12:30am and 3am nightly.

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    • Butterfly has tried to convince me to take her out at three o’clock in the morning. It’s the one time I’ve been able to say no to her. The closest I get to singing at that hour is my grumbling song.

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  32. Great songs, and I love your dogs’ names. What cuties!

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  33. Thanks so much for liking two of my blogs…enjoy yours too! Obviously we both love animals and nature!

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  34. My mother potty trained me by running water — so I am quite sure that sound is vital to bodily functions. Hopefully your dog won’t pee everytime you sing, regardless of where you are. Cause I’m telling you, I curse out my mother whenever I’m in the woods.

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  35. I have to confess that I have never sang to my dogs. I have two dogs, a Foxy Lady and a Maltese Terrorist, and I love them to bits but I have never sang to them. Perhaps this is something I need to correct.

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  36. That’s so sweet. I never thought of singing but we do have a “poopy dance” I do when I encourage our fosters to learn to go poo outside.

    I may have to start trying to sing although the neighbors probably hope I don’t.

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  37. Hi! Just tweeted some of your lovely posts. Best wishes 🙂

    Reply

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